Friday, September 10, 2010

An Open Letter (21-01.2010)

I cannot comprehend
This thing that we can’t mend
Too many things left unsaid
Sweet stuff, nonexistent

Conversation went on and on
About you and me and slideshows
And birthdays and phone calls, nothing’s sure
Except the fact that I told you

I cannot comprehend
This thing that we can’t bend
Too many people to get hurt
I, for one, am broken and stressed

You said “let’s be honest”
“For once,” you even added
And I thought you’d live up
To the expectations we’ve set

But then you just stuttered
Babbled and rambled on 
Issues we’ve dusted
A long time ago and decided
They were over and pretended
To make it all sound okay
When we know full well 
It will never be the same again

How can it be when you’ve lied to me
And then that night you didn’t even say sorry
You said you care but you lie and you dare
And you hurt me big time
And you asked me questions I didn’t like
And then you think I can take in
Everything you’ve done… Unreal…

In the end, I’m not gonna say
I cannot be put to blame
Because I know at some point
I had shortcomings
I had some misgivings
Especially the part 
When I loved you too much
And I wasn’t so sure
If you are man enough
And I just let it all go
And I didn’t tell you so
But then I thought you should have known
After all we were together so long

I don’t really know now
How it will be
If you and I will still meet
I had so many plans
I painted too many pictures
Happy ones 
But then this happened 
And they’re all gone

My doctor told me to wear glasses all the time
I think she’s right, I thought my eyes are not all that bad
And then I realize we sometimes think all is fine
Without glasses they seem alright
But then we wear glasses, and we realize
There are still better things for us to see
We are just too busy with what we think should be

I just need us to figure out
What we really want from us
I already told you my side
You tried to say your bit
But then you backed away and tried to hide
Well, I must say I’ve done my part
I told you enough, I showed you enough
It’s either this is it, or you will step up…

At the end of the day 
My stand remains the same
Just be true to yourself
Do what you feel is right
Be happy without sacrificing too much
I can sacrifice you for you
And I now give you permission
To sacrifice me for me and you…

From my Facebook Notes Page
Tungkol sa tunay na pag-ibig (About true love)
by Chloe Nina Ballesteros on Monday, August 30, 2010 at 11:14pm

Isang araw, nakakwentuhan ko sa wall ko ang mga tao tungkol sa tunay na pag-ibig...

Di lahat ng nakikita, totoo at di lahat ng di nakikita, di totoo. Tingnan mo, di mo nakikitang mahal kita, pero totoo 'yun!

Bakit ba minsan sinasabi ng mga tao na mali ang magmahal, e wala namang mali doon, mali lang siguro kung oobligahin mo 'yung taong mahal mo na mahalin ka rin. Ang sarap kaya ng nagmamahal! It's the thing that makes us all human!

'Di naman kailangan na palaging ipagsigawan ang pagmamahal. There's beauty in silence, in a muted love affair. 'Yung kayo lang. Pasasaan ba, kung true love 'yan, eventually, you both will be set free. There's always a way, basta tamang timing lang...

Hindi ba 'yung totoong pagibig ay malaya. Unconditional. The kind that makes us do everything we can for them without asking anything in return. 'Yung mapabuti lang sila, ayos na. 'Yung masaya lang sila, ayos na. May kilala akong ganon, and their love lasted forever... =) My Lola Puring and Lolo Chung. =)

Ang tunay na pag-ibig ay dalisay, malaya, at maganda. Kung dahil kamo sa 'yong nararamdama'y sumasama ang 'yong ugali, magnilay-nilay. 'Di na 'yan matatawag na pag-ibig...

True love is pure, free and beautiful. If what you feel is turning you into a monster, think about it. That can't be love...

--- ganda talaga ng Tagalog

From my Facebook Notes Page
Friday, February 06, 2009

Thank you for everything. I will never forget you nor all those times we spent together. The good times, and the not-so-good ones. I am forever grateful to you for teaching me how to love. I'm sorry if I had been difficult at times. I'm sorry if I tried so hard to figure out what we were and so I ended up bugging you and wasting a lot of potential great times.
And so it happens...

So love evolves. It's good to have finally realized this. At least, finally I'm done feeling stuck in a situation that left me wanting for more. I have finally accepted the fact that sometimes things are just the way they are. I've gone from loving and wanting to be loved in return, to loving and wanting to be exclusively loved, to loving and wanting to be loved the same way I love, and finally to loving without wanting anything in return except for that person to be happy. And this time, I mean it. I am now ready to let go and be happy myself. And I wish nothing for him but to feel that feeling of unconditional love that I felt for him and to receive it from the same person that he'll feel this way for.

I know it's been a long time since I've updated my blog. A lot of things happened from the time I last posted an article. Good things, bad. Heartaches, love. Friendships. Coming and going. But, most importantly, I have come to terms with myself.

So happiness is really not something that you get from someone else. I finally get this. Happiness is a state of being that only you can make happen for yourself. I am determined to find this.