"Tonight I Can Write" -- Pablo Neruda
Isinalin sa Wikang Tagalog ni Chloe Nina L. Ballesteros


Maisusulat Ko Ngayong Gabi


Ngayong gabi'y maisusulat ko, taludtod ng luha't hinagpis

Tulad ng, "Ang gabi'y natatanglawan ng mga bituing nangungulila, nilalamig; Hinahaplos ng hanging malumanay, umaawit."

Ngayong gabi'y maisusulat ko, taludtod ng hapis at lungkot
Wagas ko siyang inibig, may minsang inibig din niya ako

Sa mga gabing tulad nito yakap ko siya't hinahagkan.
Niyayakap, hinahagkan, paulit-ulit...
Sa lilim ng itim na kumot na wari'y walang dulo,
Walang katapusan

Wagas niya akong inibig, may minsang inibig ko rin siya.
Paanong hindi ka matatangay ng alon ng kanyang mga mata.

Ngayong gabi'y maisusulat ko, taludtod ng walang pagsidlang kalungkutan.
Isiping wala siya sa'king piling. Damhin na kailanma'y 'di na magbabalik.

Dingging ang ulilang gabi, na higit pang binalot ng kahungkagan nang siya'y lumisan.
At ang dula ng taludtod ay maglalandas sa kaluluwa tulad ng hamog sa damuhan.

Anong halaga ng limiing hindi siya mapanitili ng aking pag-ibig.
Ang gabi'y puno ng tala't bituin samantalang wala siya sa aking piling.

Wakas. Tangay ng hangin ang himig mula sa malayo. Sa dako palayo.
Bahagi ng aking kaluluwa'y dinuyan ng hangin kasabay ng kanyang paglisan.

Sinubukan siyang hanapin ng aking mga mata tila upang akayin siya palapit.
Kinapa siya ng aking puso at wala siya sa aking piling.

Ang kakahuyan ay nakakanlaong sa bisig ng gabi.
Walang nagbago.
Kami, nang mga panahong iyon ay 'di na tulad ng nakaraan.
Pawang mga estranghero sa isa't isa.

Ang aking pag-ibig ay nagmaliw, iyan ay tiyak, subalit labis ko siyang minahal.
Sinubukang sumpungin ng aking tinig ang hanging dadama sa kanyang pandinig.

Wakas. Siya ay magiging pag-aari ng iba. Tulad noong bago ko siya mahagkan.
Ang kanyang tinig, ang kanyang katawan. Ang kanyang nangungusap na mata.

Ang aking pag-ibig ay nagmaliw, iyan ay tiyak, subalit maaaring mahal ko siya.
Napakadaling magliyab ng pag-ibig, napakatagal humupa ng usok na kaakibat ng limot.

Sapagkat sa mga gabing tulad nito ay yakap ko siya't hinahagkan
Kaluluwa ko'y nangulila mula nang siya'y mawala.

Kahit ito na ang huling sakit at dusang kanyang ipadarama.
At ang mga ito ang huling taludtod na isusulat ko para sa kanya.

My Favorite John Lennon and Paul McCartney Songs

Woman
John Lennon
(For the other half of the sky)

Woman I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all I'm forever in your debt
And woman I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success

Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Woman I know you understand
The little child inside of the man
Please remember my life is in your hands
And woman hold me close to your heart
However distant don't keep us apart
After all it is written in the stars

Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Well

Woman please let me explain
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again

I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
***************************************************

My Love
Paul McCartney

And when I go away
I know my heart can stay with my love , its understood
Its in the hands of my love , and my love does it good
Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo , my love does it good

And when the cupboards bare
Ill still find something there with my love
Its understood , its everywhere with my love
And my love does it good

Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo , my love does it good

Oh I love oh wo......my love
Only my love holds the other key to me
Oh....my love oh...my love
Only my love does it good to me

(solo)

Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo , my love does it good

Dont ever ask me why , I never say goodbye to my love
Its understood , its everywhere with my love
And my love does it good

Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo , my love does it good

Oh I love oh wo......my love
Only my love does it good to me
Woooooooooooooh
***************************************************

No More Lonely Nights
Paul McCartney

I can wait another day until I call you
You've only got my heart on a string
And everything's a'flutter
But another lonely night might take forever
We've only got each other to blame
It's all the same to me love
'Cause I know what I feel to be right
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
You're my guiding light
Day and night I'm always there
May I never miss the thrill of being near you
And if it takes a couple of years
To turn your tears to laughter
I will do what I feel to be right
No more lonely nights (never be another)
No more lonely nights
You're my guiding light
Day and night I'm always there
And I won't go away until you tell me so
No, I'll never go away
Yes I know what I feel to be right
No more lonely nights (never be another)
No more lonely nights
You're my guiding light
Day and night I'm always there
And I won't go away until you tell me so
No, I'll never go away
And I won't go away until you tell me so
No, I'll never go away
No more lonely nights

hello adrian.

hope this is what you want. thanks for appreciating my writing and i'm honored to have written something that's going to be a part of your love story. ^^

love can really be painful beyond explanation, so frustrating people sometimes go crazy because of it, but the most mysterious about it (which will forever boggle my mind and which leads me to write about it) is the way love makes us do things so unselfish that we never thought we have the power to do. I will never be able to explain how it makes a person so unselfish at the expense of his/her own happiness. True love, that is.

Good luck Al,
Chloe
*************************************************************

goodbye
(for Adrian)

it gets old...
all the waiting and the worrying
all the secret pain and the fake smiles
that say "i'm ok" when actually,
"i'm not --
dying inside, in fact."

don't say i gave up
too early, without a second glance
i did my share of "i'll stays"
a ton of "i understands"
the tears i haven't shed
all this time,can fill up a dam
i gave you all the chance
i gave you all the time
to figure yourself out

i know i may be sorry
to leave you when i know
damn well that only you
can make me feel the way
i do... i know i may be sorry
i really do

but then should i really
just look straight ahead
of this one-way street?
should i just keep on walking
the same way i have always been --
towards you...always
without question

i wonder: if i just gather
all the strength i still have
left, i may be in for something
better, something real
and i know -- when i don't meet
you in the eye --
this is the right thing to do
because I have so much love
to give, and sadly --
it shouldn't be for you

at least, i had
learned to live and love
through you i've known
the greatest laughs and cries
i've had experienced
a great true love
only it has ended
no matter how i longed
for it to last

i will miss you
that's certain
the tears i held back
may finally find release
sure, i will never forget
you,never will i forget all
the memories, never will
i regret the bliss

you've been a part of me
all these years, tell me
how will i explain this
how can we not miss,
you've been more than
family, more than the best
there could ever be

if only i can keep you
but then i know
that's an impossibility
not after what we've said
and done, no it may never be
but please take care
my love, and remember
words are but words
we may say, but never mean
listen to what my heart says
don't mind my thoughless
utterances

find someone whose love
will top my love, find someone
worthy of what you got
that's the only love you deserve
love that is far greater,
far stronger that what i gave

don't you worry
don't despair for me
because if i learned something
big in this affair,
that is: to love truly
you have to feel pain
to love truly doesn't mean
to cling, to love truly
is just to love and
love without fear of it's end

To: "e******@yahoo.com"
Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2005 07:02:29 (GMT)
Subject: just read...

"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I
did not say so."

- David Grayson

To: "e*****@yahoo.com"
Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2005 07:07:57 (GMT)
Subject: something to think about...

"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our
human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to
find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the
person one desires to be."

- Anna Louise Strong

Here's the real deal

* Remember when we were in first year high school and you jokingly told Diane Fronda, who had a huge crush on you, that you were already courting me so she would stop bugging you? I actually wished that were true.

* Remember when you told me through friendster, back in 04, that you wished you're the one I loved the way I loved Jay? At the back of my mind I thought, I loved you more in fact but I just kept on brushing off the feeling.

* When we hosted Rubie Andrea's 18th birthday, I was so happy and proud to be doing it with you.

* When you and Hans came over to my house on my birthday in 04 and you guys stayed until 3am and the 2 of us just talked and had this easy connection, I wished for that night not to end.

* I made a big deal out of you coming to my 04 birthday straight from the Palarong Pambansa.

* Remember when I came to see you at your old house because and I was so sad due to family problems and we talked while eating ice candy, i think that was back in 04, and our conversation shifted to how our friends had been making a big deal out of our closeness, and you went like "ano kaya totohanin na lang natin tutal naman yun ang palagi nilang iniisip," and I sad, "nah... that won't work". I actually regret saying that up to this day and I still think, what if...

* I wrote you letters that I didn't have the guts to send you until Sherrie Ann took them away because she thought they were just making me pathetic.

* I actually saved your text messages from 04 to 05 in a notebook which She also took away.

* I continued to write down your text messages until early in 06, then I stopped because I began trying to stop my lunacy over you.

* Sometimes I still itch to write down your messages.

* I saved our Friendster conversations from March to April of 04 in my email.

* I just did above yesterday.

* I worry about you everyday despite the "i-don't-care" facade i put up. One text message from you a day makes me happy because it assures me you're far but still around. ^^

* I always wonder what's the real deal between you and Jen.

* I don't really care when you go out with girls, except when it's Jen. ^^

* Remember when you asked me to come over to your house to show me your new V3x on December 30, 06 and you slept while I was checking out your phone and then all of a sudden I told you I had to leave and you wondered why, and I said I just had to (with a smile)? Well, I had my reasons... I went home so you won't see me burst into tears... I don't know I was so stupid to have believed you all those times when you said you're just friends with jen and you weren't seeing each other anymore. So when I saw pictures of you two in your phone taken on Christmas, I was shattered. I had no right to talk to you about that but it hurt a hell lot so I just left.

* Yeah, my dear friends who've been with me and have loved me long before we became close hated you and I've tried, over a hundred times, to make them like you because I so wanted to be with you and not even them could change that.

* Remember when we fought in 05 (I forgot the reason) and we didn't talk for a week then we had an "agate gathering" and so I had to see you there then later that night you asked me to come with you to the park just across your house and you said we needed to talk? Remember that time? Up to now it boggles me why we had to have that TALK. Everyone teased us because they were probably confused as well. Because WHY would we have to talk in private. Then when we were alone we talked about "us (not)". I wish I had just been honest with you and with myself then. Instead of telling you that I was fine and we could get back to the way we were, I wish I had the courage to just settle things with you once and for all that time. Hell, I shouldn't just have cared and just let things go the way they should. We should have settled things then. Because now, it's even harder to just let you go. I should have done it then. I shouldn't have let you talk me into "maintaining our friendship" despite my friends not liking you because we "are happy together just as things are". I shouldn't have let you made me hope that yeah, everything's gonna be ok. I shouldn't have.

* Remember in Baguio, June 05, I lost my phone and cried my heart out. I partly cried for that but truth is, somewhere in the middle of that, I was already crying for you and not the phone. I was like being stabbed every moment I had to see you and Jen so close and looking wonderful together. Hans and Bernard knew about this and they were beside me all the time to make me feel good. I actually agreed to go to that trip because you insisted and convinced me to go not knowing it will be like hell. I didn't know Jen would come. When I knew, it was already too late to back out but if I 'd known earlier, I wouldn't have gone. I know Andeng would've understood.

* About the "thing-that-must-not-be-named": ** I didn't allow it to happen just because of the "spur of the moment"; ** I acted nonchalant about it, but truth is, it's a big deal for me I just tried to deal with in in an "i'm-a-modern-woman" way, although I know I failed; ** every time it happens, I wonder what you're thinking; I can't imagine myself doing it with anyone else

* I'm happy you tell me a lot of things about you than most people know but sometimes it really kills me when you talk about your women. I laugh, yeah, but truth is it hurts inside.

* It boggles me why you don't tell me the real deal when you go out. I mean, I won't hold you back so why lie? Truth is, I learn about the DATES anyway. ^^

* I will give my left arm to know the REAL reason why you went out with me at the start of this "friendship". You know, the Padi's Point days, the old movie marathon days, the "i miss you" messages. What's the real deal about all that?

* I didn't really expect you to take me to MV Dulos. Was it really just your way to apologize? Actually, I wonder about that a lot especially after Hans told me that you'd been thinking of moving away from me but "I am the one who won't let it happen".

*About that: could you please tell me when you actually felt that I was keeping you from moving away? If only you told me that straight then you would've gotten what you wanted.

* I cried when Hans told me about that.

* Truth is, I want to TALK to you. Really TALK but I'm afraid...

* Truth is I love you so much I keep all these things and more inside of me