Tuesday, October 31, 2006


it's funny i read our emails to each other during those good old days and i can't help but laugh at how crazy i sounded. just last month i read the same emails but they didn't have this effect on me.last month they sounded romantic. but now, they are simply..well, plain funny. ;0

pathetic.i sounded pathetic in the subtlest way. but then he sounded so interested in me. even gave a hint of courting me if i will only allow him to. but then maybe it's all a big joke. a joke. something that i shouldn't have taken literally. empty words.

i then read through my stupid collection of his text messages and i noticed something quite interesting. i noticed that as the days went by (actually we've been playing this cat and mouse race for 2 years now), as our "friendship" evolved, he texted less and less and i texted him more and more. his messages went from somewhat romantic to completely platonic while mine is the the exact opposite.

the sad truth though is that i have been blind to all this until now. the even sadder truth is that, now that i seem to have waken up from the intoxicating image of us i have had, and can now change the image to "him and i", i feel like though i'm more aware of the situation i would rather stick to what it is i'm in than turn my back and walk away.

regrets? none at this time.

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