(5/31/07)
Not yet
You ask my friends for a date,
You joke about girls you like in my face.
When you pull off those stunts, I just laugh,
Of course, so you won't know I feel bad.
When you call me over to hang out with, I go.
When it's my turn to ask you just raise your brow.
How insensitive do you think is that?
Sometimes I wonder if you're for real.
How can someone be so unfeeling?
How can you not know I'm reeling
Whenever you make me feel invisible,
When I'm just right beside you all along.
I feel sick to my stomach,
Whenever I try to just shrug it all off.
I know I have told you before,
And besides, how can you not know?
That to me you're not just a friend,
So why keep up with this trend?
I'm your friend, yes of course,
I told you I can live with that thought.
But still, you can't be coarse,
Isn't it obvious?
I'm still trying to move on.
I still get hurt when you talk
About your conquests and prospects.
It still turns my insides
When you make compliments.
I need time,
I need time.
I can't not love overnight.
Look into my eyes sometimes,
And you should see right through me.
Then you'll know,
I deserve a little consideration,
After all.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
(5/17/07)
The girl I want for you
Someone who'll cook your favorite food,
Fix you a cold drink with meals.
Someone who'll massage your foot,
When you get home from drills.
Someone who'll laugh at your corny jokes,
The funny faces you make.
Someone who'll tickle your funny bone,
Will know when you need a break.
Someone who'll listen to how your day went,
Will support you all the way.
Someone who's strong enough to tell you
You did something wrong, but loves you anyway.
Someone who'll climb mountains with you,
Camp with you, and sing with you.
Someone who'll swim oceans with you,
Someone full of energy, and loves nature the same way you do.
Someone who'll see you for the great person you are,
Who will encourage you with your writing ,
Read them, and love them, no matter how bad they are.
Someone who'll appreciate your creativity,
Your kindness and generosity,
Who won't take you for granted,
Won't get tired when you're difficult to handle.
Someone who won't be afraid to talk,
When you need someone to listen to.
Someone who's ready to listen,
When you need someone to talk to.
Someone who'll see and embrace your weakness,
Won't see you as a loser,
Will stand by you to face and fight it down.
Someone who'll take your face on her shoulders,
When you feel stressed and burned out.
Someone who'll treasure you forever,
Love you the way you are.
I want someone perfect for you,
The way you are perfect to me.
I can't be that "someone", I know,
But I'll be happy if one day you'll show up
With someone beside you,
Worthy of it all.
The girl I want for you
Someone who'll cook your favorite food,
Fix you a cold drink with meals.
Someone who'll massage your foot,
When you get home from drills.
Someone who'll laugh at your corny jokes,
The funny faces you make.
Someone who'll tickle your funny bone,
Will know when you need a break.
Someone who'll listen to how your day went,
Will support you all the way.
Someone who's strong enough to tell you
You did something wrong, but loves you anyway.
Someone who'll climb mountains with you,
Camp with you, and sing with you.
Someone who'll swim oceans with you,
Someone full of energy, and loves nature the same way you do.
Someone who'll see you for the great person you are,
Who will encourage you with your writing ,
Read them, and love them, no matter how bad they are.
Someone who'll appreciate your creativity,
Your kindness and generosity,
Who won't take you for granted,
Won't get tired when you're difficult to handle.
Someone who won't be afraid to talk,
When you need someone to listen to.
Someone who's ready to listen,
When you need someone to talk to.
Someone who'll see and embrace your weakness,
Won't see you as a loser,
Will stand by you to face and fight it down.
Someone who'll take your face on her shoulders,
When you feel stressed and burned out.
Someone who'll treasure you forever,
Love you the way you are.
I want someone perfect for you,
The way you are perfect to me.
I can't be that "someone", I know,
But I'll be happy if one day you'll show up
With someone beside you,
Worthy of it all.
(5/16/07)
Lie or Dare?
Truth or Dare? Do you love him?
No, I don't
How can I? We're good friends...
I looked at you for signs
I searched your face for a chance
Nothing... blank
You didn't seem to care
And so I'm glad I lied
How can I bring myself up to say
That I do love you
Very much, actually?
How can I?
Above all things, above love
We're friends and I treasure that
Although it's hard for me to stay this way
I promise, I won't dare tell
Not for any other reason but because
I love you that much
So, I'll stay by your side
As a friend...
I know that's what you want
So, fine, let's keep it at that
Lie or Dare?
Truth or Dare? Do you love him?
No, I don't
How can I? We're good friends...
I looked at you for signs
I searched your face for a chance
Nothing... blank
You didn't seem to care
And so I'm glad I lied
How can I bring myself up to say
That I do love you
Very much, actually?
How can I?
Above all things, above love
We're friends and I treasure that
Although it's hard for me to stay this way
I promise, I won't dare tell
Not for any other reason but because
I love you that much
So, I'll stay by your side
As a friend...
I know that's what you want
So, fine, let's keep it at that
May 19, 2007
i just realized, there's an even harder experience that will top getting hurt and crying endlessly because of pain. it's harder and a thousand times more painful to get hurt and feel a great desire -- no, a need -- to cry your eyes out til there's no more tears left to cry, but you can't.
i just realized, there's an even harder experience that will top getting hurt and crying endlessly because of pain. it's harder and a thousand times more painful to get hurt and feel a great desire -- no, a need -- to cry your eyes out til there's no more tears left to cry, but you can't.
May 07, 2007
I psyched myself not to mind. It won't hurt, I told myself. If the inevitable finally surfaces, I'm ready. I won't get affected. I was so sure because I never thought it would happen like how it did. Without premise. Without notice. Again, a display of my insuperable stupidity. Who was I kidding? Why would there be any notice? Who am I, anyway? I'm just a nobody. Why would anyone bother to knock my head first before showing up, unannounced? But for Pete's sake, I'm human! I feel! I hurt! I may not be an exemplary human being but still I AM HUMAN! So, I deserve some kind of consideration just like the rest of the species do. That won't hurt anyone, will it? I mean just a little consideration. That's not asking much. Respect and a little consideration.
I psyched myself not to mind. It won't hurt, I told myself. If the inevitable finally surfaces, I'm ready. I won't get affected. I was so sure because I never thought it would happen like how it did. Without premise. Without notice. Again, a display of my insuperable stupidity. Who was I kidding? Why would there be any notice? Who am I, anyway? I'm just a nobody. Why would anyone bother to knock my head first before showing up, unannounced? But for Pete's sake, I'm human! I feel! I hurt! I may not be an exemplary human being but still I AM HUMAN! So, I deserve some kind of consideration just like the rest of the species do. That won't hurt anyone, will it? I mean just a little consideration. That's not asking much. Respect and a little consideration.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Someone emailed me this article:
***MEANTIME GIRL***
She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”.
You know, she’s the one who you keep around in the meantime. She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does.
But she’s cool , and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve.
You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with.
Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at a factory. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman.
So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too.
We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.
She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one for him. For how long, I can’t remember.
I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot.
And someday we won’t be around.
***MEANTIME GIRL***
She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”.
You know, she’s the one who you keep around in the meantime. She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does.
But she’s cool , and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve.
You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with.
Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at a factory. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman.
So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too.
We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.
She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one for him. For how long, I can’t remember.
I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot.
And someday we won’t be around.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I listened too closely
Your eyes were saying you adore me
And I gladly drowned in them
Love was coming out of your lips
So I couldn’t help but linger
Your hands spoke of forever
I held on tight
So tightly I held on
And closed my eyes
I listened too closely
I shattered when, finally,
I looked and saw the words
From your heart
Your eyes were saying you adore me
And I gladly drowned in them
Love was coming out of your lips
So I couldn’t help but linger
Your hands spoke of forever
I held on tight
So tightly I held on
And closed my eyes
I listened too closely
I shattered when, finally,
I looked and saw the words
From your heart
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